Today was a much slower, but still terribly exhausting, day. Last night, after I finally got Cole to bed, I laid awake for what seemed like forever. I just couldn’t fall asleep. My husband was home from drill, which I was so excited about, but he was snoring so loud, and I cannot sleep through his snoring. I decided to try to make the most of my night while my baby was asleep; so I took a midnight candlelit bath. It sure was relaxing to say the least. I love my son and I want nothing more than to spend all of my time with him, but it is hard to adjust to the fact that I am not “me” anymore. Of course I am still me and I still love and enjoy doing the same things, but being a stay at home, exclusively breastfeeding, co-sleeping mom, I never get a moment to myself. Sometimes I wish that I could maybe have just a moment to sit down and not be concerned about being the only one who has to tend to my baby’s every need. Or even feel what it’s like to not have to take your baby with you to go pee! Since he’s been born, there are only 3 times I have not been his sole provider. 1, we were visiting my mother in Chicago, and she watched him as I walked to CVS (2 blocks away). 2, a few days later (on the drive back to Alabama), I got a bad case of gastroenteritis. My husband and I went to my in-laws to help take care of me and Cole, since I wasn’t even coherent. And 3, last week the in-laws watched him for a little bit while the hubby and I were just down the hill on our land. One day I would love to be comfortable enough to let someone close watch him while my husband and I go out for a nice date just the two of us; but I am just not there yet. Anyways, while trying to get back in bed, I just couldn’t fit. If anyone has ever tried to fit two adults and a baby (including an in bed co-sleeper) in a queen size bed, then you’d understand. The most “spacious”, yet most inconvenient to me, way is to put my husband and Cole’s sleeper on the outsides, and sandwich me in the middle. For me to go from taking over an entire queen size bed, to maybe a foot wide space in the middle, is quite a change. I am still adjusting. But I finally got to sleep, looking forward to sleeping in with my little man. When my husband leaves for work in the morning, Cole and I will stretch out and sleep for a few more hours. I am blessed with a baby who likes to sleep in! But no, he had a different plan this morning! He wanted to get up with his daddy… and stay up! So I tried to entertain him the best I could. He has fallen in love with the Veggie Tales silly song DVD’s. If I need to relax for a minute during the day, I can pop one of those DVD’s in and watch his face light up as he talks to his friends Larry and Bob. I hate allowing him to watch TV so young, but sometimes I just need a minute. I have also started him with the first Baby Signing Time! DVD. I have always wanted to learn sign language myself, but I never have. I think this is a great opportunity for me to learn along with my son. We can both benefit from this program! So we filled our day with play time on the floor, jumping in his jumperoo, and his hour long nap on the boob! For anyone who knows my son, you know that he does not nap. He seldom takes a 15 minutes nap (you can time it). And on the rare occasion that he takes a lengthy nap during the day, it has to be on the boob! He’ll fall asleep nursing, and he could be in a dead sleep, and wake up if you take the boob away! And boy will he be mad.
By the time that the hubby got home from work, I was not feeling well. I was lucky enough to get a bath to try to help me feel better while Cole played with his daddy. It was great! And now that I’m filled up on soup and crackers, it is definitely time for bed. The morning will come mighty early. Goodnight y’all!
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